Remember a time that you were hurting really bad. Emotionally of physically, doesn't matter. Didn't you wish that you couldn't feel it? NEVER wish that. Why? Well I'm glad you asked. Here's my experience with this situation:
I went through depression when I was 14 & 15 years old. It felt like no one loved me and I thought I was the ugliest and fattest thing on the planet (obviously I wasn't). The pain got to be too much to bear, so I started denying it, saying things like "It doesn't hurt" and "I can't feel anything" over and over again. It's a dangerous thing when you can control your emotions like that. After a while I started believing myself. Pretty soon I was numb to pain, physical and emotional. It got to the point that I was an emotion-less blob. As time passed, I started to realize something. Not only could I not feel pain, I also couldn't feel joy, love, or happiness. I thought that denying myself feelings would free myself, but instead I became a prisoner behind a wall that blocked all feelings, good and bad. That "emotion-less" state was one of the worst times of my life. It had a far deeper and longer lasting effect on me than any type of pain I had experienced. It was pure torture. Finally, I cried out to God.
It's been almost 3 years now, and I'm still not back to where I was before all this, but I'm a whole lot closer than I was. It's a daily process, taking one step at a time. Next time, think twice before you wish your pain away. Don't do what I did. Ask God to help you. He always does. I wish I had called on him sooner.
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Oh, the benefits of hindsight.
ReplyDeleteVery true...pain is required in order for there to be pleasure. Sadness accentuates happiness.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, depression is awful for just the reasons you describe. Without treatment, a person will wallow in despair or a state of listless hopelessness. With treatment, the extreme "lows" of depression are generally removed...but in so doing, the "highs" also tend to disappear as well such that the sufferer is in a sort of emotional limbo without any serious depressive moments...but also often without experiencing the great joys of life. Fortunately, treatments are getting better...especially when the situation is realized and worked against.
Best of luck.
Wow, nice post! It really touched me & I'm glad things are getting better for you :)
ReplyDeleteAmen to that.
ReplyDeleteThat is absolutely true. I try not to do that but i must admit it is hard to walk away from...thanx for ur help
ReplyDelete